Bidadari Hati

Thursday, October 27, 2005

the one about badrul and love...


gambar hiasan (i)...

some people say that love is a funny thing... and others say it's the most wonderful thing... i don't know... maybe to some... but not me... i think love is 'painful'... susah nak digambarkan dengan perkataan... though, i don't think we can compare our love to each other dengan our family kind of love.. because our family loves us without condition... but when you love someone else, there are always 'condition'... banyak 'rules and regulations'... when we usually ended up getting hurt... and kalau ada sesiapa come to me and say that they are happy in love, i will just smile... you won't fool me...

to me, love is such an over-rated word in the media world... kat tv, radio, suratkhabar, magazines, novels etc, bunyinya macam indah giler... kita selalu jumpa perkataan-perkataan 'bila bercinta, semuanya indah belaka'... is that true? semuanya indah? tak kot... i think it's more like 'indah khabar dari rupa'... ada saja yang buat kita sedih, kecik hati, marah, geram dan sebagainya... and one thing i notice, we tend to give more 'love' than we receive... *or could it be that we always feel that way?*... how do you measure? entahlah...


gambar hiasan (ii)...

when you are in love with someone who loves you back, that is one thing... but what about, when you are in love with someone who doesn't love you back? i think this is the most painful situation that you can be in... rasa macam it's so near and yet it's so far away... apatah lagih bila you sedar that person doesn't love you and there is no way you boleh buat dia jatuh cinta dengan you... you have to pendamkan perasaan, and you have to act normal, and you have to pretend that you too doesn't have any feelings towards that person... arrrggghhh... painful nya... you wanted to call tapi you taknak bagi nampak obvious... you wanted to care, but you don't want to create something yang buat both uncomfortable...

and what is more painful than that? when you know that the person you are in love with, are in love with someone else... yup, love is bloody painful... masa tuh, you rasa kenapalah you are not that someone whom that person is in love with... you are smiling outside but inside... you are dying... you woke up in the middle of the night thinking about your feelings, wishing that it could just go away... you try to keep yourself busy, hoping that you can erase that person from your mind, when instead, all you do the whole day is just thinking about that person... makan, minum, kerja, tidur, berjaga... constantly in your head... thinking when it will be your turn...


gambar hiasan (iii)...

and what is even more painful than that?!? when you are in denial... you keep hoping against all odds.. you keep thinking that one day, just one day, that person will love you back... if not as much as you, just a little, tiny bit... you keep searching for simple signs and little signals... even if it meant nothing, you are willing to go an extra mile to 'read too much' into it... you laugh out loud at that person's jokes, eventhough it's not that funny, you pay attention to every single words yang dia cakapkan, eventhough the subject is so damn boring... and bila dia ajak keluar, you keep telling yourself 'it's a date! it's a date! it's a date!', eventhough keluar dengan berpuluh-puluh kawan lainnya... how you wish...

yup, love is painful... but it doesn't stop us from falling in love... i guess because we are all sucker for pain... we wanted to believe that there is someone out there for us... we wanted to believe it so much, that we don't mind getting hurt in the process of reaching to that person... sometimes, we even make the same mistakes *that we promise not to after every single relationship* just for the sake of getting hurt... yup, just for the sake...


gambar hiasan (iv)...

and the thing that crushes you *kalau belum cukup lagi rasa painful nyer*, you know that deep inside, there's not going to be any paluan kompang, bunga manggar, or even wedding bells for some...

note: gambar-gambar ini adalah hiasan semata-mata, istimewa untuk jiwang united... and yes, akma & felix are in love...i think...picture speaks a thousand words...

p/s: oleh kerana gambar-gambar ini adalah hak milik peribadi eksklusif badrul~after~six, ianya tidak boleh disiarkan di tempat lain *kecuali di jiwang united* tanpa kebenaran secara bertulis daripada pemilik blog...