Bidadari Hati

Friday, January 16, 2009

the one about badrul and ...

al-fatihah

i miss him dearly... i don't even know where to start... i lost my best friend of 28 years... he passed away last night... susah i nak cakap apa yang terbuku di hati... bila i bukak posting nih pun i just want to write apa jer yang terlintas kat kepala dan apa yang nak diluahkan oleh hati... tapi i tak tahu kat mana nak mula... 28 long years... sejak dari sekolah... he was my best friend... berkongsi masalah dan macam-macam bersama...

al-fatihah

i baru balik dari hantar single terbaru diddy kat radio stations... perasaan masa tuh rasa berbunga sebab we work so hard on the new single... i reached home around 6.30pm, exhausted... but happy... i watched american idol for awhile... then around 7 something i received a phone call... it was zawadi... and i was happy... i was always happy when he called... before i can hear any voice from the other end, i dah cakap banyak... 'hey ja ... mu sihat ke? aku baru jer hantar'... then i stopped... i heard someone crying on the other end... 'yoe... yoee... ja takdok doh... ja takdok doh yoe... baru jer... sebelum magrib...' that was his wife... 'innalillah...' i was numbed... 'yoe tolong bagi tau kawan-kawan yang lain'... 'ok...' itu jer yang mampu i cakap... i letak phone and started calling my friends... i called azhar... then i called rozi... then nizam... all our terengganu friends... our school mate... our close and dear friends... i was still numbed... smses starts pouring in... phone calls after phone calls... last sekali, i called my dad... i told him...

al-fatihah

'yoe bakpa mung berenti kerja dengan astro? gaji mung kan bagus doh?
'aku nok buat sendiri ja... letih doh kerja dengan orang...'
'takpa lah kalu gitu... janji mung kerja molek lah... aku sokong jer'
'album diddy keluar doh...'
'ya ker? aku carik doh terengganu nih tapi takdok pung... takpa esok aku cari lagi...'
he always supported me... antara orang yang sentiasa berikan kekuatan for me to move forward... then he told me this...
'aku jumpa doh album diddy... baru sampai kat kedai cina tuh... pastu aku nampok poster diddy aku suruh cina tuh letok... dia malas nok letok... aku ambik poster diddy pastu aku koyok poster orang putih hok dia letok kat dinding tuh... aku letok poster diddy kat situ... aku kabor ke dia nih poster artis kawan aku nih...' he laughed...

al-fatihah

setiap kali balik terengganu, he was the first person that i called... tak kiralah masa i kerja dengan era dulu atau bila dah kerja sendiri... he touches so many people... masa era ada pesta bola kat terengganu, he came to our hotel dengan berbungkus-bungkus nasi dagang to feed us all... dia beli keropok lekor... dia ajak datang makan tengahari kat gerai dia... walaupun dia hanya bekerja meniaga makan tengahari tapi dia sangat kaya dengan budi pekerti... dia sangat kaya dengan kudrat... setiap orang yang i kenalkan dengan dia akan rasa kasih dengan budi bahasanya... walau seletih manapun, dia tak pernah menghampakan sesiapa...

al-fatihah

keluarga kami sangat rapat... he called my parents mummy and daddy... i called his mom mak... macam yang dia panggil dan macam yang i panggil... my parents dah anggap dia macam anak sendiri dan begitulah sebaliknya... i kenal semua adik beradiknya, dia kenal semua adik beradik i... zaman sekolah dulu kami sama-sama gilakan sheila majid... mana saja sheila majid pergi, mesti kita orang pergi... kemudian bila habis sekolah menengah, dia dapat tawaran belajar di universiti malaya... i bawak diri sendiri... tapi dia tak pernah pandang rendah pada sesiapa... setiap kali balik terengganu, he will buy me something from kuala lumpur... cd or t-shirts... kemudian i dapat sambung belajar and kita jarang sikit berjumpa... bila i buat practical training, i menumpang kat rumah sewa diaorang... zawadi, nizam and kudin kat taman kosas... azhar stays near by and selalu jugak datang lepak... masa tuh lah ianya bermula... dia selalu bengkak kaki... banyak kali jugak suruh dia pergi check doctor tapi dia tak mahu... dia lebih percayakan bomoh... and bila bomoh kata dia kena buatan orang, dia percaya... kemudian dia dapat kerja kat syarikat jepun... masa tuhlah dia dapat tahu, dia kena penyakit buah pinggang... company dia tak support dialisis... dia kena bayar sendiri... so dia decided untuk berhenti kerja sebab tak mampu nak bayar dialisis... kalau tak bekerja, kerajaan negeri terengganu akan tanggung perbelanjaan dialisis, so he decided to go back to terengganu...

al-fatihah

he married a beautiful and kind lady, yus... against the odd, walaupun doctor kata mustahil, Tuhan kurniakan diaorang a beautiful daughter named nurin... he decided to berniaga makan tengahari untuk tampung hidup... dari seorang yang berkelulusan tinggi dan berjawatan tinggi, his life changed... tapi dia tetap orang yang sama... we shared a lot of things during our younger years... the odd ball... we made up stupid jokes and laughed out loud even in the bus... we travelled to port dickson just to watch the sunset... we were sheila majid's stalkers... we were duran duran biggest fans... we sang in the rain even when we were tone-deaf, well at least he was... we slept on the beach near rozi's old house watching the stars and talked about the future... we went to pulau kapas in a group where azhar hilang cincin dia... when my parents went to mekah, he and azwar yang hantar i pergi uitm melaka... kalau i nak listkan satu persatu...

al-fatihah

last november, i went back to terengganu... ada digi event and diddy was performing... as usual, he was there with his family supporting us... bought us keropok lekor to bring back to kl, bawak pergi makan dan macam-macam lagi... i remember he told me that he really wants to come to kl and jumpa my parents... dah lama tak jumpa katanya... he also wants to take his daughter jalan-jalan... jumpa saudara mara... so he made plan to come during school holidays... i told him my schedule... so a few weeks ago he came down to kl with his family... he looks radiant... bila i cakap dia nampak dah berisi, dia cuma cakap sebab banyak air terperangkap... dah beberapa hari tak buat dialisis... he had to do dialisis three times a week... tangan dia memang dah bengkak kesan selalu kena masuk jarum... dia selalu cakap kat i dia memang takut dengan jarum tapi dia tahan jer... lagi satu, nurse yang handle dialisis kat kl nih tak berhati-hati macam nurse kat terengganu yang dia memang dah biasa... sebab tuh dia malas sangat nak datang kl... tapi this time dia memang nak datang kl... so i made plan with my whole family to go for seafood kat portklang... my sister yang dari penang pun ada sama with her whole family... he seems to have fun... dia cakap that was the best seafood ever... dia borak-borak panjang with my mom and dad...

al-fatihah

i cried for the first time today... i don't know who to call... i don't have his wife's number... all i have was his... i dialed his number... i cried... when his wife picked up the call, i cried and cried and cried... i tak tahu nak cakap apa... i just cried... the pain in my heart... the empty space... the fact that i'm not going to see him again... when i reached home, i looked through my old photos... i couldn't find his pictures... i look everywhere... i couldn't find any... i cried again... i don't want to forget his face... i don't want to forget his smile... i don't want to forget his voice calling out my name... Allahyarham Zawadi bin Abdullah... semoga Allah s.w.t. menempatkan rohmu bersama-sama orang yang beriman dan beramal soleh... semoga rohmu tenang... teman-teman, sedekahkanlah al-fatihah untuk Allahyarham...

al-fatihah