the one about badrul and ten things that he hates about sepet...

first sekali, i tak nak kritik pasal sepet sebab i bukan pengkritik filem... langsung tak reti nak kritik-kritik nih... puji atau kutuk boleh lah, but you can't put both in the same category.... mengkritik dengan memuji/mengutuk adalah dua perkara yang berbeza... anyway, i memang nak letak entry pasal gathering, tapi disebabkan ketidakpuasan hati i yang membuak-buak pasal sepet nih, i have to write about it first... my entry about the sepet gathering will come later this week...

i've never thought that after so many things that have been said about sepet, i felt very dissapointed about the movie... so dissapointed that i can list down at least ten things that i hate about sepet...

1. i hate sepet because it makes me want to plot some 'evil' stuff to whomever did the censorship to that movie, (like send jimmy and his samseng or hantar mag punya cipan kasik sondol sikit!) when they can allow other stupid stuff on hollywood movies to be shown to public with their same stupid excuse like 'oh, hollywood movies tuh lain... it's their western cultures, not ours... so we have to be more strict with our own production'... which translates to 'alah, kalau cerita orang puteh tuh, orang tak perasan sangat, tapi kalau tak potong cerita melayu, nanti orang tau lah kita memang tak buat apa-apa kerja pun... jadik potong jer lah apa yang kita suka, so bila pengarah filem tuh bising-bising, orang semua tau lah kita kononnya buat kerja kita...'

2. i hate sepet because i really want to know who stole jason's phone and jawab orked's call on his behalf... i want to beat the crap out of that person because i'm sure he's going to sell that phone at pasar malam somewhere and make money out of it! i really really want to kick his ass... really!! dah lah jason punya phone tuh memory card dia rosak! (oh, i know memory card dia rosak sebab i try call dia banyak kali from the phone number yang dia bagi pada orked on that piece of paper kat dalam vcd tuh, but no answer!!!) ciisss!!!!

3. i hate sepet because the movie is too short... it should be three hours! yep, at least three hours... it felt just like 15 minutes to me!!! it's too short and i have to go and watch it over and over and over again at least 12 times (to make it three hours!!) and what makes me hate it more sebab i know this movie takkan ada sepet 2, sepet 2007, or the return of sepet like sesetengah malay movies lainnya, or even sepet the tv series!!! what a crap!

4. i hate sepet because the ending part makes me cry macam orang giler, but i have to control myself sebab ramai sangat kawan-kawan yang tengok sama-sama (more than 35 people, including some yang sanggup beratur sendiri on that friday so they can watch it together with all of us) whom some i've just met, jadi malulah sikit, so i have to rush back and cry like a baby in the car... and i hate crying in the car because it reminds me of the ending part of sepet that makes me cry macam orang giler in the first place... and it doesn't make sense to cry like two orang giler in the car!!!! that's just plain crazy!!!

5. i hate sepet because for this coming week alone, i've made several appointments to go and watch it again... three appointments to be exact... and i'm sure, i will go and watch it again the week after, even by myself... plus i've sounded like a broken record because i kept asking people who have yet to watch (malay, chinese, indian, chindian, hindustani etc) to go and watch sepet until some of my friends accused me of having some shares in that movie... and i hate being accused of something that...hhmm... well, i wish it's true!

6. i hate sepet because i'm angry with yasmin ahmad!! how dare she took some unknown actors to play the leading roles when there are tons of local singers out there who can pretend to act, rush to funfair show, come back and shoot again the next day, sign up with another film and still berlakon dengan dia! who's ng choo seong? who's syarifah amani?? they are just two actors with great acting abilities... so what?? where's the commercial value? doesn't yasmin know that kalau tak nak pakai penyanyi in the movie, you have to have some actors import dari indonesia? (of course budget tinggi sikit lah, at least 10 - 15 juta!!) doesn't she know that commercial value is the only thing, i repeat, the only thing - malaysians look for in the movie? bukan ker this line - 'kalau takda commercial value, macam mana filem nak laku?' was repeated over and over again every time ada orang interview pengarah filem? well, sorry to say yasmin, i doubt you will get a mercedez benz from your producer...

7. i hate sepet because it's not the real truth about our society... mana ada dalam any movie family melayu yang hidup rukun dan damai? husband and wife mesti gaduh-gaduh sakan, jerit-jerit, tampar, pukul, having affair dan sebagainya... puan rumah mesti treat the maid macam hamba abdi... mana ada family cina yang miskin... dia orang mesti ada rumah besar, kereta besar, dan sebagainya... mana ada family cina ada masalah yang sama macam family melayu... tak logic lah... how can sepet potrays the opposite? this is sooooooo not filem kita kan! and what about kelakar slapstik? mana pergi tuh??? kalau takda kelakar slapstik, lagih lah bukan filem kita kan...

8. i hate sepet because it shows to the world yang negara kita ada masalah... masyarakat kita ada masalah... diri kita ada masalah... mana boleh!!! kita mesti tunjuk pada dunia that our country doesn't have this kind of problem... it only happen to other countries yang miskin or third world countries... hey, we are not the third world country ok! kita ada bangunan tertinggi, jambatan terpanjang, gedung terbesar, tembikai terbulat, semut terkecil dan sebagainya... malu lah kita kalau orang luar tahu masalah kita... please lah, if you have any problems, don't write in the papers, don't put it in the movies, just telefon pihak yang berkenaan lah... kita boleh settle kan semua masalah nih... senang jer! 'ok, you fill in this form a and form b... kemudian hantar kat jabatan tingkat 5, lepas tuh nanti fill in another form d and f, bawak turun sinih, saya chop kan, lepas tuh bawak form tuh ke tingkat 17, kat sana nanti ambik nombor, lepas tu dia orang akan bagi borang j,k and l... isi kat situ jugak and submit, lepas datang sinih balik, saya akan bagi awak surat rujukan... dalam masa tiga bulan, kami akan hubungi awak dan we will go through it'... so, takyahlah cerita problem nih kat orang lain!!! buat malu negara kita jer! we don't want to be countries like brazil or iran yang asyik bercerita tentang masalah negara mereka dalam filem... memalukan!

9. i hate sepet because for once in many many years, i do believe in local production! why oh why you have to do that? i'm so happy with the way things are now... for many years i tak pernah tengok wayang tempatan except kalau dapat tiket free or kalau tak pun, tunggu hari raya because they will show it on tv... but now i have to spend money to go and watch sepet... and i'm very sure bukan pergi tengok sekali jer pulak tuh... so bayangkan lah berapa banyak duit i habis just to go and watch sepet... why? macam mana i nak tengok cerita hollywood lain nih kalau semua my entertainment budget digunakan untuk tengok sepet? eeeee, geram nya sepet nihhhhh!!!!!

10. i hate sepet because it shows the ugly truth about myself! kalau tak kerana sepet, i will not remember about my friend, tan (ah tan!)... penilaian darjah lima, when both of us dapat 5a... i got accepted to boarding school, tapi dia cuma sambung belajar kat sekolah menengah biasa... walaupun malas belajar and even when my priority in life was kelam kabut nak mampus, i still received scholarship to further my study locally... why can't sepet just be a story like anak orang kaya jatuh cinta dengan orang miskin, lepas tuh ada watak perempuan penggoda sorang, lepas tuh gaduh, cinta tak direstui, lepas tuh ada kejadian buruk terjadi dan mereka semua insaf, lepas tuh accept yang miskin and live happily ever after macam other malay movies sebelum nih? why? why? tell me why???

banyak benda yang i betul-betul tak puas hati pasal sepet... that makes me really hate sepet! that's why i have to go and watch it again and again, so i can point out some other stuff that i hate about it!

so, is there any other people who hate sepet as much as i do? do you want to accompany me to watch it again so that we can list down more things? give me a call and we can set the date... i'm game...