the one about badrul and 'knack-nickers, unite!'...

last friday masa pergi klcc nak makan aiskrim sesuatuh kat madam kwan seperti yang dicadangkan oleh screw (memang sedap!)i beli reader's digest july issue, yang ada gambar tom cruise kat depan tuh... oh no, i bukan beli because of tom cruise, tapi i beli memang sebab reader's digest is one of my favourite thing to read especially sebelum i tidur... my bedside table penuh dengan reader's digest even yang dua puluh tahun dulu... tapi tak pandai-pandai orang putih jugak... muahahahahaa...

ok, back to the july issue, dalam tuh ada article yang buat i tergelak habis... it's not a new idea at all tapi cara dibuat tuh sungguh kelakar especially ianya memang kena mengena dengan kehidupan seharian kita... the title of that article is knack-nickers, unite! quote/ richard glover challenged listeners to his australian radio show to spot holes in the english language and then find the perfect label to fill them. they've came up with 18 words that should exist /unquote, tapi i cuma akan letak yang i think ada kena mengena dengan i or my friends jer... muahahahaa...

anecdultery (an nek dul tah ree) n.

the moment when you are halfway through telling someone a story - acting in the know and exaggerating like crazy - when you realise it was their story in the first place...

selalu jugak terjadi... muahahahaa... sedap-sedap kita bukak topic, tiba-tiba orang lain sambung, dengan penuh gaya penceritaan dan segala asam garam jadik cerita diaorang... muahahahaa... tapi i pun selalu gak buat macam tuh... muahahhaa... kebanyakan benda nih terjadik dengan orang-orang yang kita rapat dan kenal hati budi dia... jadik most of us tak kisah sangat pasal benda nih... yang buat ianya tak best ialah bila orang nih cerita satu perkara, pastu the other person ambik cerita tuh, made it his or her own cerita and tokok tambah lagih... tu lah yang tiba-tiba leen yang sihat wa'alfiat boleh jadik dalam coma... muahahaa...

boastbuster (bowst' bust tah) n.

a person who, when asked to guess how cheaply you bought something or the size of your pay rise at work, always picks a figure so extreme that your story falls completely flat...

yang nih memang selalu sangat terjadik especially dengan kak nes ittew... muahahhaaa... kalau i dapat good bargain bila beli barang-barang macam baju, i memang jadik excited habis... apatah lagih bila i pakai baju tuh, kak nes puji nampak cantik, terus suruh kak nes teka berapa harga baju tuh... dan dia mesti teka 'singget??... duwa hengget setengah?!?'... memang tension tau! muahahhaaa... mentang-mentang ler bargain, dia mesti bagi harga yang tak hengat donea!!

cosmetick perjury (koz met ik' pur jah ree) n.

the tactful response required when you meet an acquaintance who has proudly changed their hair, face or body in a failed attempt to improve their appearance...

haiyoohh!!! kadang-kadang susah jugak jadik jury cosmetic nih... muahahahaa... especially kalau kena kawan-kawan yang memang rapat... tapi selalunya i tak kisah sangat dengan appearance dia orang nih... tapi yang selalu i tegur (kengkawan yang rapat saja yach!) bila ada sesuatuh terkeluar dari lubang idung ker, ada taik mata ker, atau makanan celah gigi ker... muahahhaaaa... eh, baik tegur daripada biarkan jer kan... tapi kalau bab-bab pakaian atau makeup tuh ada jugak ler i tegur sekali sekala...

hope couture (howp' ku toor) n.

the item of clothing you keep for years in the vain hope you might fit back into it someday...

yang nih lagi satu hal... memang sayang nak buang sebab angan-angan cukup tinggi that one day i will be able to wear it again... memang angan-angan matjenin jer lah... muahahahaaa... tapi bagus jugak kekadang angan-angan nih... dapat kurangkan pembaziran bila nak beli baju baru.... selalunya i akan kata 'alah, nanti beli baju nih, pastu aku kurus mesti tak pakai dah... baik takyah beli lagi'... yeah right!!!

flaparazzi (fla pah'rah tzee) n.

someone who is always in the background of a live news report, waving stupidly at the camera...

i takda ler kenal lagih orang yang macam nih... muahahahaaa... tapi i pernah gak tengok yang suka enterframe nih... biasa lah... especially budak-budak... tapi pernah gak tengok news report pasal kebakaran, and nampak yang suka enterframe nih tersengih-sengih kat belakang walaupun rumah dia atau jiran dia baru terbakar...

knack nicker (nak' nik ah) n.

someone who can't leave a hotel room without taking every tea bag, sugar sachet, complimentary shampoo, etc...

hikhikhik... i pun kadangkala termasuk gak dalam golongan nih... muahahahaaa... tapi selalunya my reason (alasan) sebab nak kenang-kenangan from that hotel or place yang i visit... tapi kalau bukak store rumah, memang berlambak benda nih sampai tak tahu nak buat apa... nak kenangkan apa pun tak tau lah.... muahahahahaaa....

tearerist (te rah' ryst) n.

a person in the cinema who seems to take ages to unwrap their sweets or open their chips, then eats them one by one, oblivious to the noise...

i think orang yang tak reti nak letak phone on silent mode pun patut masuk list nih... muahahhaaaa... memang 'sakit hati' kalau dengar orang makan popcorn sambil bukak mulut seluas-luas alam... kalau bukak plastic cikadees ker, twisties ker, macam nak koyak kampit beras susah nyer dan kuatnya!

piece de resistance (pees' d re zis tonts) n.

the last bit of food left on a plate because everyone wants to be polite...

benda nih hanya terjadik masa kita mula-mula kenal dengan orang tuh... tapi bila dah lama kenal, jangankan yang hanya tinggal satu dalam pinggan depan kita, yang dalam pinggan orang pun kita ambik jugak kan... muahahahaaaa...

moanotone (mown o' toen) n.

the faltering voice you use when you ring work to tell them you're sick...

hahahahaaaa... hahahahaaaa... hahahahaaa... yang nih i think semua orang pandai! i have a few tricks on my own, tapi tengah nak belajar jugak dengan 'guru', which is my anaksedara lah of course! muahahahaaa....

tortune (tor'tyoon) n.

a catchy yet awful song that you just can't get out of your head, even after hearing it played just once...

'can get you out of my head' macam dah sum it all 'naaaa naaa naaa naaaa naaaaa naaaaa...' muahahahahaaaa... macam jugak i cannot get the 'snaws comes down ins june'... muahahahaaaa... memang lama giler nak hilangkan lagu nih from my head...

suffermore (suf ah' moor) n.

a person who is always sicker or worse off than you. if you say you are a bit tired, they are exhausted. if you are snowed under, they tell you to try it with six kids. and when someone runs up the back of your car, it's nothing compared to the accident they had in the summer of 1984...

oh gosh! you meet this type of people everyday... you know lah kan... sometimes you just need someone yang listen to you... instead, you will have somebody yang dengar for about a minute, then launched into their own sad stories, which are always worst than yours... muahahahaaaa...

so, ada persamaan? kalau ada, fanatik lah tttuuuu!

*from reader's digest, july 2005 issue - taken from 'the dag's dictionary © 2004 by richard glover. published by abc books, sydney