Bidadari Hati

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

the one about badrul and 'bihun goreng'...




this morning i hantar my parents ke airport... Alhamdulillah, sekali lagi mereka berpeluang berkunjung ke rumah Allah s.w.t. dan buat kesekian kalinya kami adik beradik akan berhari raya tanpa ayah dan bonda...

flashback to eight months ago... i jarang sangat balik ke rumah my parents... kadangkala seminggu sekali pun susah... sibuk sangat memanjang... walaupun i akan telefon setiap hari, but tak sama rasanya... bila i balik, my mom will cook my favourite dishes... my dad will talk about anything with me... my sisters will share their personal thoughts and my kids... well, my kids will jump up and down in happiness... i rasa macam i am a guest at my own house...

since february my parents dah plan nak pergi buat umrah... in fact, they have planned it since last year... tapi my dad was sick... his heart-beat was irregular and doctor advice dia not to fly... kemudian dia buat surgery to insert the pace-maker... for awhile, the plan for umrah letak ke tepi... dia tak boleh drive, tak boleh travel jauh-jauh dan tak boleh bergerak sesuka hati... suddenly, my dad looks ten years older... dia bukan jenis orang yang boleh duduk diam... so, bila tak boleh bergerak banyak, dia jadi pendiam dan selalu macam susah hati...

then i decided to quit my job... one of the reason so that i can spend time with my family as well... Alhamdulillah, i kerap jugak balik ke rumah my parents... kadangkala setiap hari sepanjang minggu... walaupun sekejap, i managed to stay over... usually about two to three hours... i jugak kerap tidur kat rumah my parents... with some money that i received from the company, i decided to send them for umrah... lepas tuh another bad news diterima... my dad's kidney is not functioning well... he's down to second last stage... which means, kalau dah masuk last stage, dia kena buat dialisis... dia nak sangat-sangat pergi buat umrah, so my sister took charge of doing the bookings and all... rezeki yang Tuhan dah tentukan, dapatlah mereka pergi sebelum bermula bulan puasa dan insyaAllah akan pulang selepas hari raya... 40 hari menjadi tetamu Allah s.w.t.

i know they will miss aiman and ellisya... in fact, i'm so tempted to let aiman ikut sama... but i know susah nak jaga aiman especially kalau diaorang pergi untuk beribadat... my dad told me this morning on the way to the airport that every night aiman akan pujuk my dad to let him pergi sama...

"sidi *gelaran for his atuk* pujuk lah papa bagi aiman pergi!"

and he will not go to sleep until my dad agrees... i know aiman and ellisya will miss their grandparents and my parents will miss aiman and ellisya... i told my dad to call anytime diaorang free... i will pay for the phone bills...

last night my dad keluar pergi tapau some food with my sister... he wants to eat bihun goreng... actually, dia keluar nak pergi tukar duit, but at the same time decided to tapau bihun goreng... my mom actually dah masak kat rumah my sister... so masa kat dining table, my mom membebel kecil lah that the food yang my dad beli kat luar tuh letak macam-macam perencahlah, msg lah dan lain-lain... then my dad in a slow voice cakap,

"takpalah, saya teringin sangat nak makan bihun goreng dengan roti canai... mana tau nih yang last saya makan..."

i rasa sebak sangat-sangat... i know i tak boleh buat apa-apa kecuali berdoa semoga mereka berdua selamat pergi mengerjakan umrah dan selamat kembali...

"Ya Allah Ya Tuhan ku, berikanlah kesenangan dan kemudahan untuk kedua ibubapa ku beribadah di rumah-Mu, berikanlah mereka kesihatan dan kekuatan untuk menjadi tetamu-Mu, selamatkanlah perjalanan mereka pergi dan balik, Ya Allah Ya Tuhan ku! hanya pada-Mu hamba-Mu ini berserah! Amin ya Rabbal Alamin"

i think last night i tidur cuma setengah jam saja... i couldn't close my eyes... macam-macam benda ada kat fikiran... kepala pulak sakit teruk! berdenyut-denyut hingga ke pagi... bangun subuh, i dengar bunyi bising di dapur... i saw my mom tengah sibuk prepare sarapan pagi... she was frying bihun goreng...

i look at her and without a word, we were hugging each other... crying...